On the Corner of 1st and Horny Street - by Melanie Studley | ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE
Studley Thoughts

On the Corner of 1st and Horny Street – by Melanie Studley

On the Corner of 1st and Horny Street 

Understanding Our Sexual Landscapes

WARNING: Use of strong language!

Seth and I get SO MANY questions and comments from wives who are “hornier” than their husbands. This often the language that we see, they say that they are horny and they want to know how to “get some” from their partner. Now don’t get me wrong here, I have no problem with the word horny at all, but this got me thinking.

To me, the word horny seems very narrow, it’s like saying the word sour. There isn’t a ton of room for interpretation because it seems like a very specific idea or thought that is driven from cultural understanding and experience and (for me anyway) is sort of black and white. A lemon is sour and horny people want one thing…..to bone.

But, as I was making my coffee at 6:45 am, and thinking about all of our horny AOM listener wives wanting to have more sex, the quote (which wasn’t a quote before this morning) “On the corner if 1st and Horny Street” popped into my head, along with the quote, “Life is not a destination but a journey”.

Now please let me explain these two very disparate thoughts.

The quote “On the corner if 1st and Horny Street” leapt into my mind and along with it the image of a wife standing on the grid of a city map. So, think Google Maps where you can see street names and the satellite image, and right there on the corner of 1st and Horny, you see a wife….. just standing there, waiting anxiously. You begin to investigate the adjacent street names and you see things like Boner Road and Jugs Street.

Just the use of the word “Horny” (to me) seems to paint an entire ‘Horndog’ cityscape around it. And it feels like a very specific type of sexual encounter would emerge from the use of that language alone. That brings me to quote #2, “Life is not a destination but a journey”. This concept took on a whole new meaning to me when I thought of it in the sexual context….which is super weird to say because why on earth would I even think of it in a sexual context? Whatever.

But it made me think, if there is Horndog Street, then somewhere else on the map there must be a place called Gentle Loving Avenue, right? And if I zoom out, there would most certainly be a continuum of streets and roads, avenues and boulevards, that create a beautiful spectrum of sexual expression that is loaded with intersections, causeways, bridges, side streets, etc.

It is only when you zoom out that you begin to see the marriage between these two very different ideas,  “On the corner if 1st and Horny Street”, and, “Life is not a destination but a journey”. Sexuality is also, not a destination, and there are WAY more streets than just Horny Street. Yes, it’s true that when you are on Horny Street you can get some killer hotdogs and beer, but… on Hold Me Close Parkway there are amazing wine shops and an abundance of chocolates and flowers.

These streets are VERY different from one another, but the great news is that all of the various roads and avenues eventually intersect and cross over at some point on the sexual map. BUT… far too often a wife or a husband is just standing on the corner of 1st and Horny waiting for their partner to find them, anxiously checking their watch. They don’t share their location, they don’t offer to meet in the middle, they just stand there waiting. Their partner, on the other hand, may be two zip codes over on Relaxation Road, longing to connect over conversation in the hot tub. What are they going to do?

This is a problem that I think many couples face in relationships, but don’t even know it! So now, here is my attempt at a solution.

If life is a journey and NOT a destination, then that means that the journey is the thing that we are after. The sexual journey is about ‘Connection and Pleasure’, but the destination is different each time, somedays you and your partner meet at the intersection of Passionate Boulevard and Lustful Lane and on other days you might find each other on the corner of Hold Me Close Ave. and Vibrator Valley.

There is no right or wrong, there is no good or bad, there is just two people trying to find one another in their own sexual landscapes and on their own sexual maps. You cannot convince your spouse to only want hotdogs and beer forever, just as you wouldn’t want them to try and convince you that the best restaurant in town is that Vegan place two streets over and that you will only eat there for the rest of your days. But instead, you leave yourselves open to explore the entire sexual city…..together. You invite one another down new streets and to new restaurants, you don’t push them or drag them, you invite them. You don’t insist that they must meet you on Horny street, no, you work together to see where your two roads converge and tuck into the place that feels right on that particular day.

Alright my friends, have fun exploring together!

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