Today we welcome back Lauren Miller from Nothing Like I Expected. She shares with us about the tension within marriage. Thank you Lauren, for letting us share your original piece. Be sure to stop by her blog to show your appreciation.
Turkish Rugs and Marriage
Have you ever been in a situation with your spouse where it feels as though the air has been sucked out of the room and talking feels like a death march? Often times moments of tension become chasms of disconnection but the reality is tension doesn’t have to be a divider it can actually be a strength bringer. Perspective is everything in relationship. How you choose to see conflict, a touch, a praise or even a missed opportunity will determine how your life and relationship will be.
When I was in Turkey I went to a rug making demonstration right outside of Ephesus. The amount of intricate work that goes into making a beautiful, detailed, hand-woven rug is awe inspiring. There are a few things I remember about that experience that I believe model some beautiful truths about relationship.
Tension is IMPORTANT. As the weaver moves the silk through the loom they must keep the tension on it or the whole rug would unravel.
There is a whacker thing. That is not the correct term but they use it to compress the yarn down and to compact the rug.
Knots are used through out the masterpiece.
Time. Lots of time.
In relationships there is a need for tension, healthy tension weaves you closer to your partner that is if you choose to lean in instead of pull away. There will be times when unexpected life events will come whacking you and your partner out of no where; but when you choose to remain through the hardships of life you and your partner are forged even closer together like the fibers of the rug. Life is messy and knots are unavoidable but when you choose to integrate them into your story instead of trying to rip it out you allow for more depth and design to be woven in and for a greater beauty to unfold. Lastly, TIME, time is crucial and when you choose to stick it out and ride out the tense, knot filled, whacking you are left with a masterpiece like no other.
At the end of the rug making tour may have been the most fascinating facet for me when the rug dealer would toss the rugs to turn them or brush his hand over it and when the fibers would change direction the coloration would completely change. The hues and sheen of the rug were all dependent on the position and lighting. When you are diligent in relationships to look at things from different angles and in different lighting the situation that might have once been a glaring mishap may actually just blend into the tapestry of life.
When tensions arise be diligent to lean in and allow it to bind you to your partner instead of rip you apart. When life gets brutal and tries to whack you away let it bind your fibers even more intricately together. When knots are formed be patient and gentle not to break apart but to become even more unified. Most importantly give your relationships time to grow and blossom, maturity doesn’t happen overnight.
About Lauren Miller:
I am a wife to Ian Miller — photographer extraordinaire!
I am a mom to 4, yes 4 little dudes — coffee (is life), outdoors and legos.
I am an impact entrepreneur with Sseko Designs where I get to help change the world one sandal at a time.
I am a habitual crazy face maker — sorry photographer husband.
I am also the girl who taught herself to do just about everything with her feet starting in kindergarten because a girl in her brother’s class had no arms. To this day I can pick up just about anything off the floor with my toes as well as unlock and open the door.