Preferred View by Seth Studley | ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE
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Preferred View by Seth Studley

How did y’all like this week’s podcast on the Preferred Self? This week’s blog post comes from Seth, sharing more about that idea. Check out the podcast HERE if you missed it.

“I think I’m a pretty good girlfriend”, “you know, I’m a great worker and I’m pretty smart too”.

We all like to think of ourselves as better as we truly are.  This is OK. It’s good to have some positive self esteem and decent levels of confidence in our personality and abilities.  It’s when these views of ourselves are completely incongruent with what our actions say and what our partners may say about us in truth.

A “preferred view” or “preferred self” is a term that suggests how we have strong personal preferences or biases towards ourselves and how others may see us.  Problems arise when we aren’t living up to these preferred views.

I may “think” I’m a hard worker, mean well, am honest and a nice guy, but my boss, my wife and my kids may say otherwise.  

WE CAN ONLY CHANGE WHEN WE ASSESS OUR ACTIONS AND GET HONEST, OUTSIDE INFO FROM OUR LOVED ONES ABOUT OURSELVES AND THEN ACCEPT THAT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!

This may hurt a little, it may shed some much needed light on your life.  This is good. Change hurts.

Listen to the episode on “Preferred View” and watch me and melanie give real examples of using this exercise and critiquing and challenging one anothers preferred view!

-Seth Studley

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