Self Care - With Melanie Studley | ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE
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Self Care – With Melanie Studley

 

There are so many things clawing for our attention, so many messages that say “you are not good enough”, and so many distractions in this world, that it is hard to feel calm, loved, safe, acceptable and whole. But there are small steps that we can take to fight against all that noise!

Here are some self-care practices that I do that help keep me calm, centered and feeling loved.

#1 I avoid watching tv, or getting caught up in social media feeds that makes me feel less-than, afraid or lacking. If I don’t avoid these things I find that I begin to feel inadequate, like I need something new to make me feel better, and that feeds a larger sense of discontentment and is harmful to my peace of mind. I also avoid things like the news that cause me excessive worry, or that bring a sense of dread into my heart, I am not trying to ignore the world around me, but with the “if it bleeds it leads” mentality of most news sources, it often ends up that watching the news is like watching a scary movie that is brand new every single day, and I really don’t do super well with that type of input.    

#2 I treat myself to a small chunk of dark chocolate and decaf Earl Gray Tea with a splash of milk once a day, in a heart shaped mug when I feel like I need a little pick me up. This might sound silly, but I have a special cup and a little cutting board that makes me feel really happy and loved because the cup was a gift from Seth. And so I get my tea, my chocolate chunk and my cutting board and sip while I browse Pinterest or Facebook for about 15 minutes and enjoy my snack. This time is sacred to me, it is an intentional time to just rest and escape for a few minutes in the middle of my work day.

#3 I listen to podcasts, music or audiobooks while I clean the house! Learning helps me feel WAY better about myself, gives me insight into being a better wife and mother, and just makes me happy, and so I intentionally weave it into my daily tasks for two reasons, #1 it makes cleaning MUCH MORE FUN, and #2 it is like killing two birds with one stone! You aren’t just cleaning, you are also improving our life with education, a good story, wonderful audio or more!

Here are the Audiobooks that I have just finished!

Come As You Are, By Emily Nagoski

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, By Dr. Wayne Dyer

The Yes Brain: By, Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

#4 I do yoga on my bedroom floor before bed to help me relax, de-stress, and to get a better nights sleep. Now let me clarify, I do NOT do anything crazy or fancy, I don’t wear expensive yoga clothes (I wear my pajamas!) and I don’t follow any sort of routine, I just do what I feel like my body needs me to do in order to feel better. **If you have listened to the podcast for awhile you might also know that yoga is one of the ways that I get closer to my sexual self, so it is a win, win, win situation. It makes me calm, helps me sleep and can lead to better sex! If I am feeling particularly stressed I will do yoga and listen to Dr. Dan Siegel meditation. It is WONDERFUL!

Here is the Meditation from Dr. Siegel

#5 I watch The Great British Baking show, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, Doc. Martin, A Chef’s Table, Ask This Old House, Abstract, any of the Marvel movies, etc. with our kids while we snuggle on the couch, sometimes I will also enjoy a glass of wine, but not always. I really enjoy intentional tv or movie time where I am learning, or getting lost in a storyline that I know will not give me anxiety, (I don’t watch scary movies, they bring me anxiety and make it hard for me to sleep, I also don’t watch shows that have sex scenes in them, mostly because tv portrays an unhealthy version of sex that is NOT something that I want to promote in our home!!). I never browse the channels, and I don’t watch the news, I like to keep tabs on the bigger picture of my overall mental health and the impact that tv has on it, so that means that I find what brings me life and joy and I make time to really appreciate it! That often means a LOT of PBS!!

These are just a few of the self-care practices that I do, I would love to work in a few more around taking baths or relaxing that way. I LOVE taking baths, but our house is SUPER small and the bathrooms are NOT oases (that is the plural form of Oasis) and so taking a relaxing bath is sort of not in my Self-Care plan…..dang!

I hope you find these inspiring, and please don’t forget to share YOUR Self-Care routine with us!  

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