SEASON #1 - Examining A Failing Marriage | ANATOMY OF MARRIAGE

SEASON #1 – Examining A Failing Marriage

Welcome to Season One of the Anatomy Of Marriage Podcast! Below you can find links to each of our episodes from the first season. You can listen to each episode from here, OR, click below to get the podcasts on your favorite handheld device.  

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Episode #1 – “I Would Rather Be Divorced”

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Melanie and Seth take us back in time to investigate their nearly failed marriage and begin the process of uncovering why marriages really succeed and fail. They talk with author, speaker, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker Leslie Vernick, as well as a mother of 6 who is going through a divorce, and older children of a divorced family.

 

Episode #2 – “Marriage Starts At Birth” 

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Seth and Melanie dive into the tangled world of Family of Origin and discover how deeply connected our marriages are to the lives and choices of our parents. They talk with Marriage and Relationship experts Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott, Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds Professor and director of clinical training and research at Seattle Pacific University, as well as Seth’s grandma and Melanie’s childhood neighbor Nichole and her husband Charlie.

 

Episode #3 – “Who Taught You To Hold A Knife Like That?” 

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Seth and Melanie tread cautiously through the delicate landscape of differences as they explore why their own marriage has looked more like a smoothie than a fruit salad. Once again we hear from Claudia​ Grauf-Grounds and Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott of Seattle Pacific University as well as author and interpersonal neurobiologist Dr. Dan Siegel from the Mindsight Institute in Santa Monica California.

 

Episode #4 – “What Do We Do Now?”

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Melanie and Seth investigate the way that our experiences shape our marriages as they talk with couples about topics ranging from the loss of a parent at an early age, the diagnosis of autism, and domestic violence in the home, just to name a few. Joining them in this episode are Dr. Les and Leslie Parrot and Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds of Seattle Pacific University. 

 

Episode #5 – “The Science Of Love” 

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Melanie releases her inner nerd as she explores the science behind relationships. Today’s guests include Dr. Dan Siegel who talks all about neurobiology, Mike McHargue from The Liturgist Podcast and author of Finding God In The Waves, (AKA Science Mike) who examines our relationships through brain-science, Dr. Corey Allan who explores the chemicals of attraction and the ever wonderful Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds who shares her insight about nurturing pair-bonds. Melanie also sits down with Seth who has yet another confession that makes her question everything.

 

Episode #6 – “You Should Know This Already” 

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Seth and Melanie run head first into the complex world of expectations with Nichole and Charlie who talk about family expectations, Ally who shares what she expected of herself after becoming a wife, and some insightful kids who try to define the word expectation for Melanie. They are also joined by Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott and Dr. Caludia Grauf-Grounds.

 

Episode #7 – “Don’t Turn The Lights On”

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Melanie and Seth pull the covers off of the private world of sex and intimacy with the amazing Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers of The Northwest Institute on Intimacy, and Dr. Corey Allan of Sexy Marriage Radio. Together they explore the ways that our flawed understanding of sexuality can negatively impact our intimate relationships and how changing the way that we understand and view our own bodies can produce great things for our marriage. Seth and Melanie also share what it was like to go on a 4-day intimacy retreat!

 

Bonus Episode – “It’s Really Complicated”

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Melanie explores why intimacy and sexuality are so hard to talk about with Dr. Less and Leslie Parrot of Seattle Pacific University, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers of The Northwest Institute on Intimacy, and Dr. Corey Allan from Sexy Marriage Radio. She also walks through the healing process of past sexual abuse in marriage from several different view points. And talks with Dr. Tina about how we can view sexuality as a banquet instead of a bowl of cereal.

 

Episode #8 – “That Wasn’t A Story”

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Seth and Melanie talk about talking. . . sort of. Join the discussion with guests Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott of Seattle Pacific University, Dr. Dan Siegel of the Mindsight Institute, and the musical couple Matt and Kristie MacDonald of Vocal Few as they untangle the wackiness that is Communication and try to make sense of it all.

 

Episode #9 – “Am I Really Like That?”

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This week Melanie and Seth explore the daunting topic of Identity and share the ways that not having a strong sense of self has totally messed up their marriage. They are joined by Dr. Les and Leslie Parrot of Seattle Pacific University, Dr. Dan Siegel of the Mindsight Institute, and Mike McHargue from The Liturgist Podcast and Ask Science Mike as they try to untangle this crazy mess.

 

Episode #10 – “At My Lowest Point”

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In this week’s episode things start to take a darker turn as Melanie and Seth explore the world of mental health and talk about the impact that it has had in their marriage. Seth shares a story of self harm, an anonymous friend shares her battle with depression, and Melanie and Seth walk through some of the early signs in their marriage that they really needed help. Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott of Seattle Pacific University also join in the conversation and share their thoughts about the impact that mental health has on relationships.

 

Episode #11 – “Hide The Guns”

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Melanie and Seth step into the darkest part of their journey as they share their story of domestic violence in hopes that it will help shed light on this terrible reality. Melanie admits to being physically abusive and violent to Seth in their marriage and they talk through some of the thoughts and feelings that they had during those tumultuous times with Dr. Claudia Grauf-Grounds, Leslie Vernick and a few very brave friends who you’ll remember from previous episodes.

 

Episode #12 – “Only Ourselves To Blame” 

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Melanie and Seth sum up the impact that this 8-year journey has had on their marriage and talk through what things they did wrong individually and what things they did right as a couple. They share the marriage hacks that saved their relationship, as well as advice from the many couples and therapists that they interviewed along the way.

 

Q&A Episode – Surviving The Holidays Together

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Seth and I offer up a few tips and tools for navigating the holiday season without losing your freaking mind! Some of our tips include… Being on the same team, looking for what is good, and talking about your triggers with your spouse BEFORE you go to your in-laws house, am I right? 

 

Q&A Episode – What Does Deception Feel Like?

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Seth and I discuss the feelings that I experienced directly after Seth’s confession of lying and looking at pornography and offer up some helpful advice on how to handle this particular crisis in your marriage. WARNING: There is some unsavory language in this episode but I bleeped it out for you!!

 

Q&A – How To Know What You Are Truly Feeling And What You Really Want 

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Today Seth and I talk about “Clearing Structures” OR “I Statements”, you will remember them from Episode #8 all about Communication where we tried “I Statements” out and I was TERRIBLE at them!! In this episode things get a little more serious than we expected, but it turns out to be for the better in the end.  Check out our Tools Page to get a special Clearing Structure PDF that we made JUST FOR YOU!  And don’t forget to send us YOUR QUESTIONS for the next Q+A!

 

Q&A Episode – Resolving Conflict With Voice Memos And Slowing Down Monkey Brain

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This Week Seth and I explore the use of recording our thoughts when we are upset vs. talking about them face to face. We came across this idea sort of by accident a few months back and it has helped us out TREMENDOUSLY! We share our very first voice recording with you and some of the different ways that we can calm our monkey brain by using this voice recording method.

 

Q&A Episode – Confessions 

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Today Seth and I explore the tricky landscape of confessions, how to do them, when to do them, and where to do them. If you have something to confess to your partner DO NOT make the same mistakes that we made!!
 

Q&A Episode – What Children Can Teach Us About Marriage

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Today we are hitting on two different marriage ideas that are both kid related. BUT… you don’t have to be a parent to learn from this episode! In the first half I (Melanie) talk to our 10 year old son about using the “Clearing Structure” to resolve a conflict that he and I were having. In the second half of the show we talk about the ways that our children can often display undesirable behaviors that WE TAUGHT THEM!! Ouch!
 

Q&A Episode – Letting Go

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Seth and I explore the idea of “letting go” with the help of a worksheet that Seth uses with his clients. This letting go concept helps individuals to create personal boundaries around strained relationships as well as bringing a sense of peace to those who practice it.